afternoon delight...

and then an email saying you can't call tonight you have paperwork to do...you will call tomorrow.

I reply saying I'm busy studying anyway - and tomorrow I won't be available since I have lab until 5pm....I feel sort of off - I read the email - I adore you with all my heart...yeah, right...another email, this is getting OLD...very OLD...even the calls...listening to you masturbate, you telling me what to do to myself...is this sad, is this sick, is this just stupid?  Is "this" getting OLD...at the time it feels great, but looking back on it - it makes me feel stupid...It makes me feel used and sort of pathetic that I actually believe what he says.

I am not pathetic.

I believe him.

Maybe I shouldn't.